I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
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