The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize
