you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Randomize