life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Randomize
