I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
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