it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
