Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
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