and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
i think i just lost a toe
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