I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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