where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
