i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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