i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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