yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Randomize
