I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
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