I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I just found puke in my bra..
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
