Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Randomize
