don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
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