a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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