No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
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