on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
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