i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
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