he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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