Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Randomize
