I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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