did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
