The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
i think my cat just said my name.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
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