tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
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