we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
