i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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