No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Randomize
