If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
