If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
