I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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