Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
