hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
