it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
