I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize