mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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