I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
