somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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