I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Randomize
