My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
