You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Randomize
