Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
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