what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize
