Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
