We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
