and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
She announced her abortion via fbk
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
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