i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Randomize
