They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
