Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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