It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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