at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
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