OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
