butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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