i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Randomize
