He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
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