then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
