the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
