i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
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