I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Your cock deserves a montage
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
