feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
It's never too late to be topless.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Randomize
