dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
