No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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