I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
