Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
