she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
