Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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