She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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