dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
